what do you want to be?

one way that adults used to torture me when i was a boy was to ask, “so, young man, what do you want to be when you grow up?” . if i answered “i want to be a fireman or a cowboy or a pirate,” they’d grin and say i was cute.

but what i really wanted to say was something like this: “are you kidding me? how could i possibly know what i will want to do? i’m just a kid! i possess inadequate information, insight, and experience to have any idea about what i will want to do when i grow up!”

that came back to me as i thought about what happened last night. the vestry sent our senior warden to my home with a question. in effect, they were asking, “so, young man, what do you want to be when you grow up? a fireman? a pirate? the rector of St Marks?”

i have prayed much and thought much about this for some time now. what would be sufficient information, insight, and experience to discern God’s call in this matter?

first i thought about the friends at St Marks – people who are stretching their faith, deepening their spiritual experience, thinking theologically, testing the waters of ministry, becoming conscious and intentional disciples of Jesus Christ. so i said to myself, “i really love these people… i’d like to be around them for a long time.”
then i thought about the work – primarily what it is like to lead worship with these people, to talk about God and life with them, to think and plan for ministry with them, to work side by side with them, and whether this work truly answers that deep and relentless call to love and serve God and the world. so i said to myself, “i really love this work… it is interesting, challenging, and satisfying work – i’d like to do this work for a long time.”

next i thought about the past and the future of these people, what they have experienced and what God may be calling them to. so i said to myself, “i think we’ve acknowledged our past soberly, and have turned to the future. i’d like to go with these people on their journey.”

finally i thought about the place – the physical assets, the building and the land. but only for a moment, and then i dismissed that thought. it’s not about the physical assets, after all. true, the land is limited, and the buildings do offer serious challenges we must address sooner or later. but these are not central to who St Marks really is. what is central, the only important questions concern the friends, the work, and our orientation toward the past and future.
so last night, the vestry asked, in effect, “so really, what do you want to be when you grow up? a fireman? a cowboy? a pirate?”

it was with great pleasure that i signed our new letter of agreement last night. because of our friendship, because this work both calls to me and answers God, and because we are engaged together on a journey into the future, i’d like very much to serve as your rector.

the Lord be with you