balance in a life of ministry

A young minister in a mega-church has been struggling with the pressure she feels about not living up to the expectations of her colleagues. she wrote me and asked how one keeps one's balance in this life. she obviously doesn't realize that i spend half my life falling on my face.

in any case, i reflected on what i've learned about balance in a life of ministry. i think the following is both true and helpful.

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Dear ____,

Although one would think that working among 20 pastors would put one in the midst of a community of mutually caring, mutually spiritually minded people who are really open with one another about their difficulties as well as their joys, the truth is that developing that sort of community ("oh what a foretaste of Heaven divine") is very, very difficult, very, very rare, and and takes constant, conscious and intentional effort to create. It takes the same kind of effort, care, intentionality and tenacity that a great marriage takes. The sad thing is that everybody knows that a great marriage doesn't just happen, and requires effort, care, intentionality and tenacity, but seldom does it occur to ministry teams that this is true for ministry teams as well. So it hardly ever happens, which is a real shame, because it is possible. Tough, but possible, possible but very, very rare.

Which means that each of us must recognize that as far as the ministry team goes, we must take even more care about our own spiritual health and balance.

So, here are a few places to start thinking theologically and practically about balance:

First: The theology:

1) Remember the temptation to forget the reality of God's created order.
The doctrine of creation means a whole lot more than just what God did a long time ago to get this whole thing rolling. It also means that "the way things work in the real world" is part of God's creation. Which means that "the way things work in the real world" is part of God's intention. Genesis describes "the way things work in the real world" as "very good."

The Screwtape Letters does a great job of showing how demonic it is to separate out spirituality from "the way things work in the real world." For example, it doesn't occur to us that getting enough sleep is just as spiritual as getting enough prayer or Bible reading. We are tempted to think that sharing the Gospel is spiritual but doing our laundry is not. We are tempted to think that tithing is spiritual but saving for the future is not. By thinking in this way, we who consciously want to glorify God are easily tempted to ignore "the way things work in the real world" -- which is a way of dismissing God's created order, dismissing God's intentions, and therefore, dismissing God's will. From the demonic point of view, this is brilliant. By getting most "professional" ministers to live unbalanced, stupid lives, by ignoring "the way things work in the real world", our individual and corporate spiritual lives, ministries, and leadership are largely diminished and often cancelled out.

So theologically, we must become very aware that there is great pressure on us, even from our own colleagues, to ignore God's created order. This always, always, always leads to imbalance. Only you can prevent forest fires.

2) Accept natural limitations as God's will:
If you start with the theology of creation, then the limitations of time are no longer your enemy. They are God's will. So the fact that there are only 24 hours in a day is a good thing, not a problem. There will always be more ministry to do than can possibly get done. But if Jesus could fulfill God's will for his life in 3 1/2 years, then we can fulfill God's will for our lives in the time we have. Jesus didn't do everything that could be done, but he did all that the Father asked him to do. He didn't feed every hungry person, he didn't heal every sick person, he didn't free every possessed person, he didn't preach in every village. Yet Jesus did all he needed to do.

3) Know who you are trying to please.
There were lots of people that were disappointed in Jesus, including his own disciples, close friends, and the very people we was ministering to. Yet Jesus kept his focus on pleasing the Father, and accepted other people's disappointment in him as their problem, not his.

4) Understand the purpose of ministry.
It would be enormously easy for God to get the world's attention if he just sent a troop of angels walking up the Hudson River. Every news agency in the world would carry it live. So why doesn't God use an obvious and easy method to get across the Gospel? It certainly can't be because he can't. It can only be because he doesn't want to.

Which means that the purpose of ministry has nothing to do with effectiveness or efficiency. It must have another purpose.

And this is where the American church is confused about ministry so much of the time. We will be pressured to do more and more and more, because the American church assumes that the purpose of ministry is to get the ministry done. But if that were true, God would use effective means at his disposal. So obviously, the real purpose of ministry CANNOT be to get the ministry done. There must be another purpose.

The real purpose of ministry is transform the minister.

Illustration:
Why did our mothers ask us to "help" make cookies when we were 5? Obviously, it would have been easier on Mom had we stayed out of the kitchen. Easier, faster, less to clean up -- and better cookies. Yet she asked us to "help." Why? Because she was more interested in making children than in making cookies. Mom wanted to make cookies, for sure -- but she had an even higher priority on making us. So she chose the harder, slower, messier, and less effective way to make cookies, because it was better for us rather than better for making cookies. So what if all the cookies turned out inedible and the kitchen is a mess? Wasn't it wonderful to make cookies with with Mom? Won't we remember all our lives how wonderful it was to get to work side by side with Mom?

In exactly the same way, God calls us into ministry. Not to get the ministry done. But because our engagement in ministry transforms us. Because God is more interested in making saints than in reaching the world. God wants to reach the world, for sure -- but God has an even higher priority on making us. God intentionally chose a harder, slower, messier, and less effective way of ministry to the world, because it was better for us. So what if all our efforts for ministry show poor results, and we left the church a mess. Did we have fun with God? Won't we remember all our lives how wonderful it was to have done ministry with God?

Don't misunderstand me. This provides no excuse for mediocrity, sloppiness, poor planning, or stupid ministry strategies. It is a call to perspective. Only by understanding and remembering the purpose of ministry can we escape the demonic temptation to the sin of perfectionism. We don't become spiritual so that we can do ministry. We engage in ministry as a means of working out our spiritual experience with God. It's not about ministry. It's about our formation as Christians.

This puts our own ineffectiveness and people's disappointment with our results into a Godly perspective. So we accomplished very little in a messy way... SO WHAT? The purpose never was effectiveness. The purpose was our own transformation. We learn to become like Jesus by practicing what Jesus did.

Finally, and perhaps the most important theological understanding:
5) Don't confuse ministry with discipleship.

Some people confuse being a disciple with doing ministry. But leaving all to follow Jesus is not the same as leaving all to do something. We are called to follow Jesus, not to fish. ("You follow me... I will make you become...") He will form us into fishermen, we don't form ourselves. Our task is simply to follow him. Jesus called us into following, he never called us to into responsibilities -- not even responsibilities in a church. Discipleship is consciously and intentionally loving the Lord with all our heart, mind, soul and strength, and our neighbor as ourselves. Ministry fits into discipleship, just as does prayer, worship, getting a good night's sleep, eating sensibly, and paying your taxes. But don't confuse ministry WITH discipleship. Discipleship is not a job, nor is disciples a ministry, nor is mainistry discipleship.

Second: The practicality:

Once we are clear on the theology of ministry (that it assumes the doctrine of creation, that we accept limitations as God's will rather than as problems, that we know who we are trying to please, that we understand the true purpose of ministry, and that we don't equate ministry with discipleship), we can develop a game plan for achieving a balanced life.

Since balance is largely a matter of time, make time for a balanced life:

1) Make sure you get enough sleep. It's God's will.

2) Make sure you practice sabbath keeping as a spiritual discipline. Every week, set one day aside for wasting time with God. This is not a day of work separate from your job (this is not the day you mow the lawn, catch up on your Bible study, clean the house, catching up on your chores), but a day for goofing off with God. "Sabbath" means "rest." Sleep late. Read "Dilbert." Walk in the woods. Make love with your husband. Go sailing. Play with your dog. Have fun. Recharge.

3) Make sure you have real friends. Not just colleagues.

4) Make sure your spiritual life takes precedence over your ministry efforts.

5) Remember that you can't please God in ministry if your ministry goofs up your discipleship. Too many people in ministry are not disciples. So they have terrible relationships with their neighbors, their families, and with God -- because they spend all their time in "ministry" and too little time in consciously and intentionally loving the Lord with all our heart, mind, soul and strength, and our neighbors as ourselves.

6) Remember that most of our colleagues assume that we will take responsibility for our own spirituality, our own discipleship, and our own balance. They are not going to help us keep our perspective. We have to do this ourselves, knowing that we'll be pressured by the world, the flesh, the devil, and even our own colleagues and the church, to get out of balance.

The Lord be with you,